I'm dead
by Azarasaki
Summary: After going through a terrible heart break, Saki retreats home to the comfort of her Knife. Tadase barges in and demands the reason for her tears and later comforts her. I may add another chapter. What do you think?


**Saki-San: I don't know. I wrote this at 3AM so I probably won't remember writing this. I could've written in more detail but my mind is all fucky. I won't be surprised if I receive negative comments because this sucks ass. But it is a true story. As you can see, I used my own name. *yawn* night**

**Warning:...plain old heart break**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Shugo Chara but I own myself (ಠ_ಠ)**

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Her heart tore. A deep hole had been cut into it. Just by some words, tears filled her once happy eyes. Life wasn't fair, NOTHING was fair. But she couldn't blame him...it was all her fault. Her fault for falling in love in the first place. His mixed emotions had caused him to confess without knowing his true feelings when she had amnesia. She loved him ever since they first met...it was broken, beyond repair. Nothing could fix it now. Only the knife...would be her friend in this moment. Her close friend.

Saki cried into her pillow, remembering the event earlier on. Even though it had been an hour, she kept weeping.

Where did he go for the past few weeks? Why didn't he show up sooner? Why did he choose to tell her this now?

Saki loved Hikaru for quite some time now. Half a year, perhaps? But a few weeks ago, maybe five, she experienced amnesia. Her abusive mother had pushed her onto some sharp corner of the heater vent, causing her to have a stroke and faint.

Just as her friends were notified about this matter, they instantly went to visit her in the hospital. The incident caused great confusion to hikaru, making him confess to her. He wasn't too sure what he felt but he couldn't afford to loose anybody else.

After a few days or so, Saki regained her memories but Hikaru had to go somewhere for a while. The female hadn't the slightest clue but chose not to question. The whole week, they hadn't had connection at all. No texts, no calls, no nothing. Which caused great anxiety to her.

But he returned shortly after she developed a split personality...

He called her out and took her to a park. Maybe it was a date.

"I'm sorry...I realized that I'm fully gay. I don't want to hurt you any longer so this relationship or whatever it was ends now" Hikaru stated, with a pained expression. Saki, who was smiling previously, looked down and before she knew it tears fell.

She didn't know what she was feeling. In confusion, she ran away. Even with Hikaru hollering behind she still ran.

Heart break was terrible.

Now sitting in her room, she glanced at her wrists and cried harder. "I'm sorry" she croaked. "It was hard on you too but I ran...what a coward i am. it's your choice, I have nothing against it. I'll never hate you. I can't hate you" more tears piled up. The blood ran down her arm once the bubble it was in got too big. "THIS ISN'T HALF THE PAIN YOU'RE FEELING" she screamed, slashing a blade against her already bloody wrist again

"I DON'T DESERVE LOVE, I DON'T DESERVE ANYONE"

Again and again.

Countless scars left behind and the blade dug deep into her flesh, causing more blood to utter out. Despite the burning sensation, it felt all too good. The pain felt too good.

Just then, a knock was heard in her door.

Quickly, she threw the blade behind her bed and wiped her tears away. As soon as she was done, she covered the blankets over her face.

"Are you awake?" A mature voice resounded the room, once the door screeched opened.

"Go away...I'm dead" Saki muttered, digging deeper into her covers.

"but-"

"SHUT UP TADASE, LEAVE ME ALONE"

"Sakura Hotori. I am your elder brother. I demand an explanation" he demanded in a stern voice.

"...no...don't call me Sakura...anything but that" she wept even more.

Tadase bit his lip and looked down. "Saki...I'm worried about you, I really am. Please tell me what happened and we'll figure it out together"

"I want to be alone."

"I won't leave."

The woman stayed silent for a minute and sniffled a little. "I love you big brother"

The man warmly smiled and walked towards his little sister, sitting at the edge of her bed. "And I love my cute little sister"

Saki only needed someone's comfort, someone's love to make her feel better. All she needed was a hug.

She jumped out of her covers and latched onto her brothers waist, smudging her bloody wrist against his white shirt. "Brotherrr" she wept painfully. "H-Hikaru. H-He...h-he.."

Tadase never saw cute little sister cry like that. Just what did Hikaru do to his precious little sister?! "Shhh..it's alright" he coed, patting her head. He noticed something wet on his back on glanced to the spot to see blood. 'Oh Sakura' he thought sadly, hugging her tightly.

After an hour or so, her bawls turned into sniffles and her sniffles dried up. "my face feels sticky" she croaked.

Tadase looked around for napkins but found nothing. It would really be a bad idea to just get up like that. "You can use my shirt" he smiled.

Saki nodded and blew her disgustingly full nose on Tadase's shirt.

"Do you feel better now?"

Saki nodded her head, keeping her arms locked around her brothers waist.

"He left me" She croaked.

Tadase rose an eyebrow in confusion.

"Hikaru left me. He said he was fully gay...I was a fool to fall in love.."

"That little-! Wait until I-"

"please don't hurt him" she pleaded.

"Why? He hurt my precious little sister, he deserves to-"

"I still love him, I can't bear to see him hurt.."

Tadase clenched his teeth in anger but let it go.

"You're so caring..that's what I love about you"

Saki faintly smiled.

"you should get some rest" He laid her into her bed and smiled. "I'll still be with you"

"...Okay.."

He kissed her forehead and turned off the lights, sitting back at the edge of her bed.

"Please sleep with me" She hiccuped, extending her arms out for her brothers warmth.

He accepted her request and wrapped his arms around her, snuggling her.

"I just remembered.." she said softly.

"hm?"

"Hikaru used to hold me like this..." Many memories flossed her head. Holding hands with him, hugging him, laughing with him. They never got the chance to kiss but that was enough. Just to finally be loved by someone was enough.

"I'll take Hikaru's spot and love you like he did"

Saki blushed and looked up only to see her brothers serious face.

"isn't that...incest?" she slightly giggled.

Tadase caressed her face and warmly smiled, "I'll do anything to make my little sister happy. I love you"

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**Saki-chan: Well then. I didn't mean to add that Tadase part. Yeah, Incest. I don't even know. Might add another chapter. What do you think?**

**Review?**


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